MUMBAI: Vidya Balan does not like to follow norms. She finds it easier to follow her heart. The actress says doing something that is not natural to you can be a painful process, which she realised a few years ago.
"I find it easier to follow my heart because I've tried in the past to follow the norm," Vidya told IANS in a candid interview.
"I think when you do something that's not natural to you, or that's not authentic for you, that process is very painful. I realised that a few years ago, I think almost 10 years ago, and started to read my inner voice and follow that. I found that to be easier. When I think, 'ohh this is the right thing to do', it never works for me," she added.
Ask her if she is a rebel, Vidya said: "I don't see myself as a rebel. I think when people choose to do what they want as opposed to what is expected of them, they are often labelled as rebels. There's no intention to be a rebel or anything of that sort. I did what I wanted to do, but I know why someone would see me as a rebel."
After a stint on the small screen with "Hum Paanch", Vidya entered Bollywood with "Parineeta" in 2005. Since then, Vidya has been defying stereotypes -- be it while essaying mother to Amitabh Bachchan in "Paa" or the sultry siren in "The Dirty Picture" or her role of a full-of-life housewife in "Tumhari Sulu" or the flawless mathematician with flaws as a human being in "Shakuntala Devi".
There have been some misses as well, like "Heyy Babyy", "Kismat Konnection", "Ghanchakkar", "Shaadi Ke Side Effects", "Bobby Jasoos", "Hamari Adhuri Kahani" and "Begum Jaan".
When it comes to work, Vidya likes to own her decisions and doesn't discuss her work with anyone.
"When I make a choice, it's a personal decision. I'm only thinking whether this film is something that I (would) like to watch as an audience. More importantly, is this a story I want to tell. If these questions get answered, then I do it. I work really hard and I try to do my best every single time, hoping that people will embrace the film," Viday said, on her thought process while signing a project.
"I don't discuss my films with anyone, not even with my team. Because I have to live with that person. I have to live with that person's life for a few months. So, if I do the film for wrong reasons, and I have done that also in the past, then it's a torture going through that," she added.
The actress continued: "I always depend on myself at the time of decision-making. It's so tough to say what audiences will finally like, so it should be something that I like. Then I can only hope that audiences will also like it."
Right now, Vidya is enjoying the good response to her recently-released "Shakuntala Devi", which premiered on Amazon Prime Video on July 31. She is also looking forward to diving into her next project, "Sherni".
"At the moment, the plan is to chill and enjoy this because it's such an outpouring of love. I feel so grateful and I just want to bask in that. We are hoping to start 'Sherni'. There is no clarity yet because this Covid-19 situation changes on a day to day basis. Let's hope that we are able to resume the shoot for 'Sherni' soon," she said.