"The interview that wasn't with Cyrus Broacha"

Cyrus Broacha is one of the most difficult men to trace. One of the prime reasons for it is that the man simply doesn't carry a mobile phone. But ironically the affable VJ spoke to our reporter Mayur Lookhar via a cell phone while he was driving. Ah-ah! Not his but his accomplice's phone. Excerpts: Kunal Vijaykar and you are reportedly involved in a weight gaining battle. But you're likely to lose weight by dancing in Jhalak Dikhhla Jaa. So, aren't you worried that Kunal will win the battle? No I'm not. Trust me, I'm not going to lose any weight. In fact, I'm intaking lots of protein shakes and carbohydrates. So, I'm well on my way in becoming a body builder. But Kunal's hogging everything on his show 'The Foodie'? That's right but he's likely to lose more weight than me. He's in the process of making a movie. So, he's running form every pillar to post. He's losing more weight than me. So you can be rest assured that I'll still win the battle. Your choreographer beats you up with a newspaper. Has she picked on anything else? She's beaten me with a newspaper, slapped me several times but now she's given up on me. No longer does she threaten me with dire consequences. In fact, she's become more like me. Does Mrs. Cyrus Broacha envy the choreographer? She certainly isn't friendly with my choreographer but she gets intoxicated everytime she sees me dance. So, she prefers staying at home. How does your pet dog Rufus react to your dancing? What happened to yours and Rufus' column in a newspaper? He isn't ashamed of me. He's been very supportive. Rufus is the only one who'll ask me to sit with him on the table while other members of the family simply want me kicked out. By the way, our column has been taken away from us. So, you can imagine how bad our condition is. The judges gave you just 17 marks and you were over the moon with result. But they, particularly Jeetendra, weren't pleased with your reactions? Firstly, I got 18. So, please don't take away my hard earned one point. Also, I don't think we finished last. I didn't see Jeetendra's reaction but when I met him, he was all praise for me. How does it feel to be the first VJ to appear on a dance reality show? I'm very happy to start a trend. But at the same time I'd like to caution my colleagues by echoing MS.Dhoni's quote "There's a very thin line between bravery and foolhardiness". So, the choice is yours. What legacy will Cyrus Broacha have from Jhalak.? The only legacy that I'll have is that I'm going to embarrass my son. Years later, when he turns 18, he'll have the memory of his father dancing in a peacock outfit. Why don't you have a cell phone? It's just not a cell but I simply don't like answering phones. A mobile phone can really let you down. People chat endlessly for hours and thereafter it leads to a relationship. Often it's this relationship that breaks several homes. What's your take on the hockey player's accusation that cricket is being given preferential treatment? It's a baseless accusation. We won the Asia Cup but its no great achievement. Similarly, the football team won the Nehru Cup where only four nations took part. No one's talking about our world chess champion Vishwanathan Anand. Chess is a sport played in 140 countries. I'll be going to the airport to receive our champion. Your show 'The Week That Wasn't' tends to cross the line. Has there been any criticism? Our editor-in-chief Rajdeep Sardesai will soon need to hire lawyers as a lot of people are threatening to sue us. On a serious note, the legend Kapil Dev had once told me I was making too much fun of him. But he's such a fine gentleman who takes things in the right spirit. You once requested Amitabh Bachchan for a role in his film. To which he replied that you narrowly missed to Rajpal Yadav for a domestic's role in his film Waqt. Have the times changed for you? That domestic's offer is still pending. At the moment, my friend Kunal Vijaykar has agreed to sign me for his film. So, I'm sure our audience will suffer dearly. Cyrus needs to head home quickly because if he's late, he's likely to be abused by his wife and family. Also, his accomplice's mobile bill will shoot up after this long conversation. So, we decided to cut short the fun-filled conversation. Here's wishing Cyrus a peaceful homecoming. First pic courtesy http://www.jhalak.sify.com/